Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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