Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
