planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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