Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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