I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he fucked my hip out of place.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
