Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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