I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
