I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The power of my boobs compel you
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
