when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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