True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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