You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize