Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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