Where is the hickey?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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