Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
