so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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