i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
