Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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