Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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