I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
