btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
