She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My vagina is officially offended.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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