He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
