Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
