just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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