ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
