god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Life is so much better after having sex.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
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Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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