and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
