so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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