I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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