And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize