God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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