:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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