Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
be right there i have to get my cape
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
