If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
