I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize