i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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