Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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