Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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