she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
