were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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