Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
