his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
