I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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