I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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