Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
