You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
