What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it because I queefed?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
