I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
