3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
