I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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