so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
