is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
