She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
