My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
