All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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