We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
did i walk over a car last night?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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