I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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