i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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