I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
