Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
