absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
