I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
