So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
