WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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