What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
