Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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