The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
