well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
