I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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