he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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